REVIEW: ANCIENT GREASE @ THE VAULTS

🎭 Ancient Grease

📍 The Vaults, Launcelot Street, London, SE1 7AD

🗓 Thursday 12th March 2026

⭐️ 4 Stars

GODS BEHAVING BADLY!

Listen, I've seen some wild things in the tunnels under Waterloo, but ANCIENT GREASE at The Vaults is on a whole different level of madness. Honestly, as I stumbled back out onto Lower Marsh, I felt less like I'd just watched a musical and more like I'd accidentally downed a spiked ambrosia or taken some sort of heavy-duty hallucinogenic drug. My brain was fizzy, my cheeks hurt from laughing, and I'm pretty sure I saw a neon toga in my peripheral vision for an hour afterwards!

The premise is, frankly, absolutely bonkers - and I mean that in the best way possible. The book is great, mixing comedy and campness with a huge dollop of nostalgia to great effect. Think Grease meets Hercules meets Hadestown and you'll kind of get the idea! Imagine the 1950s greaser aesthetic smashed head-first into Greek Mythology.

The story takes us to Olympus Academy, where Zeus and Hera are our Danny and Sandy, caught between divine duty and teenage hormones. It's a "dirty love-letter" to the original theme, swapping the T-Birds and Pink Ladies for Alphas and Omegas, and the school dance for the school orgy, and it's served with a side of queer joy and sheer, unadulterated chaos.

The cast are the absolute heartbeat of this fever dream. They leant into the camp with such ferocious energy you can't help but be swept up in it. Philippa Leadbetter is a total standout as Hera, bringing a crazily comical Australian accent to the role that had me in stitches. Then there's Lucy Penrose as Aphrodite, who lent into that lovable "bad girl" energy with abundance. Her singing voice is sensational, literally giving me chills - and yes, they were multiplying!

Christopher Patten-Walker gives an epic performance as Ares. He brings a charismatic, chest-thumping swagger to the God of War that is impossible to look away from. But I have to tell you, I instantly fell in love with Ollie Thomas-Smith as Hephaestus. He is just sublimely hilarious, stealing every single scene he's in with impeccable comic timing.

Production-wise, I was seriously impressed with the lighting design. It can't be an easy venue to light - those tunnels are tricky - but they nailed the atmosphere. Unfortunately the sound struggled a bit. At times it was hard to hear the lyrics being sung over the music, which was a real shame given how clever the parody writing is.

It's loud, it's irreverent, and it's completely unhinged. If you want a night that feels like a technicolour trip through a mythological high school, get down to The Vaults. Just don't expect your sanity to remain intact!

Yes, it's a little bit rough around the edges, but there's no denying that ANCIENT GREASE is the one that I want! There are worse things you could do than click here and book yourself some tickets to the ultimate delirious night out.

Performances continue until Saturday 30th May.

Neill Kovacic-Clarke

All views are my own and I pride myself on being honest, fair and free from influence. Theatre is subjective and it is important to remember that all views expressed are just those of one person.

My ticket for this performance of Ancient Grease was gifted by The Vaults who invited me to watch the show in exchange for my honest review. The fact that my ticket was gifted played no part in the content of my review or the star rating given.

CAST LIST:

Christopher Patten-Walker as Ares; Grace Kelly Miller as Atropos; Lara Sas as Clotho; Lucy Penrose as Aphrodite; Ollie Thomas-Smith as Hephaestus; Peter Camilleri as Zeus; Philippa Leadbetter as Hera; Safia Bartley as Athena

RUNNING TIME (approx):

2 hours 40 minutes, including interval

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Haze and smoke effects; Strobe and flashing lights; Adult humour; Themes of a sexual nature; Occasional bad language

AGE RECOMMENDATION:

18 +

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